I know I’ve been pretty quiet on the social media lately, and I’ve decided that I owe you, and myself, an explanation. It’s intensely personal, and I’ve always been a socially outgoing, but essentially rather private person, especially when the chips are down.
But things are looking up lately, so I decided today it was a good time to “come clean” with all of you who follow my blog, and my Facebook notes, and Twitter. I enjoy the social media, and lately I haven’t had the energy for much of it. Some of you may have been wondering why.
I have cancer. I started having symptoms last year, and my doctors spent several months searching for the small, but aggressive, tumor that was causing them. In early November, my surgeon removed my left kidney, and in he went back in and removed cancer that had spread to my bladder. I was lucky. I still have my bladder.
I had many tests run, both before and after these procedures, and at first it seemed that I was lucky, that the cancer was confined to the kidney, ureter and bladder. But my doctors were very cautious, and I was tested again just before Christmas, 2011. Bad news…the cancer had spread. I would need aggressive chemotherapy to treat the aggressive carcinoma, and I had about a 50% chance that the most successful chemo “cocktail” would be effective.
I started chemo in early January of this year, and have been undergoing it ever since. It didn’t help matters that I developed a painful injury in my left shoulder right about the same time, and was having to undergo two kinds of physical therapy — one for the shoulder injury, the other to help me recover from the nephrectomy. But I have a great physical therapist. The shoulder injury is just about healed. And I’ve managed to keep up some of my strength, even while undergoing the chemo.
A few weeks ago, I underwent extensive tests to see how the chemo was affecting the “hot spots” the doctors had seen in my PET scan. The results were most encouraging. My bladder is also still clear of tumors. But not all of those “hot spots” were gone, though many had “resolved” i.e., vanished. I’m now undergoing my second course of chemo to get rid of the remaining ones.
Chemo, as most people know, can be pretty debilitating. Sometimes I feel mostly okay, other times I’m pretty sick. The one constant is feeling tired all the time. I just don’t have the energy to keep up with social media much. When I can, I will. But my physical therapy, doctor visits, etc., have to come first. It’s like having a part-time job, going to all my medical appointments.
When I have the energy to write, and proofread, I’ve been working on getting the StarBridge series released as e-books. It’s taken much longer than I thought it would, but only two books left to go! StarBridge will be my only source of income this year, so it has to be my No.1 priority. Thank goodness for my collaborators. They have all helped out tremendously.
When I can manage it, I’ve also been working on Winds of Vengeance, sequel to Storms of Destiny.
I’m blessed with a wonderful, supportive husband. I have an excellent medical team at a top hospital in the Washington area. We have health insurance, thank God. And the support of my close friends has helped keep me going. I hope to make it to Shore Leave this summer. We’ll see. This weekend I’ll be attending the SFWA meeting and Nebula Awards on Saturday. We’re getting a room, so I’ll have someplace to rest when I need it.
I hope soon to be able to be back to my former self, posting writing tips, recipes, and things from my life. This second course of chemo will take up much of my summer, but now that I know it’s working, it’s much easier to bear. Any spare good wishes, positive vibes, or prayers are appreciated.
Thanks for reading this.
Sending good thoughts your way, Ann. Hang in there.
My very best wishes to you, Ann. Thanks for opening up about this; now people who want to help will have some idea what they can do. (Such as, at the least, buying some of your books.) You have been a valuable member of SFWA for these many years and deserve any assistance we can give you.
Oh Ann. I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles. My prayers are with you. I’m happy things are looking up. May your health continue to improve. And, we’re all awaiting your next great writing effort.
Get well soon, dear Ann!
May God continue to keep you in His care…thanks for sharing, that takes a lot, I know, but it is also great that you have such a good support system! And it isn’t winter, so the sunshine will make your spirits brighter!
Good thoughts and best wishes for your recovery, Ann.
I’m happy to hear you have fewer hotspots, and I hope to see you and Michael this weekend!
(Hope tis doesn’t pop up twice – WordPress issue)
I’m glad you have fewer hotspots and I hope we’ll see you and Michael this weekend.
Concentrate on getting well,that’s the inportant thing. Blogs and social media can wait. I hope you get a clean bill of health soon
*hugs* You’re in my thoughts. *more hugs* You’re an incredibly strong woman – thank you for sharing something so personal. *even more hugs*
Good thoughts your way hon. #FuckCancer
*hugs* You’re in my thoughts and prayers! *more hugs* You’re an incredibly strong person for being able to share something so personal. *even more hugs*
Thoughts and prayers. Blessed to meet you at Balticon last year. I’ve enjoyed your writing for some time and hope to continue to do so for many more years to come.
So sorry for your plight. I am fighting IT too since 2007. Yes, I know the misery you have experienced. IT keeps showing up in my Lymph nodes. I will be going for more chemo today and I dread what I will feel for the next 3 days. I have a good network of medical support so what else can I do but trust their knowledge. I was an art teacher and IT has knocked me out of that job. Each time I think they have knocked IT out back IT creeps into another node or two. God bless you and send you healng.
Take care, Ann. We’re pullin’ for ya!
I follow you on Twitter, which led me here. Sending lots of good wishes, vibes and energy. All the best!
Sending healing wishes and prayers your way…
I’ll be holding you in the Light. And I’m looking forward to having all the StarBridge books in e-book format.
Best wishes,
Liz
I’m so sorry to hear about all you are going through. I have a friend that had this and she survived and now my doctors are looking at my bladder because I have painful bladder syndrome, so your story is an inspiration of hope. I’m sending all the love and healing you need. Keep us posted.
So sorry you’re going through this. Sending positive and healthful thoughts your way.
Oh, Ann, we are all pulling for you to make a speedy recovery. We so look forward to seeing you every year at Dragon*Con. Know that you are often in our thoughts and we wish you the very best. Lots of hugs! – Patti
Oh, Ann. *massive hugs* If there’s anything within my power to do, you have but to ask and I’ll do my best.
Sad to hear about the cancer and your struggles, but glad to hear things are looking up. Wishing you the best and fastest recovery possible!
God be with you. I hope you have complete healing
Sending loving, healing thougths and energy your way. get better soon.
/Alexis
Wishing you a full recovery with as much speed as possible. Chemo is a debilitating ordeal. Glad it’s working
Very sorry you have to go through this and sending good thoughts for your recovery.
From a two-time cancer survivor, I say, hang in there! The road ahead will be rough many times, but know you have the strength of others to call upon should you need it. Be well!
Sending prayers your way, my dear. Wishing you a full recovery.
Ann, I’m so sorry to hear that this has been going on. Thank goodness the treatments are working. I hope this will be your last round of chemo. I’m thinking positive thoughts for you.
I found you through Maggie Shayne. I’m sending you positive healing thoughts–may your body find the strength to find the invader! It was very brave of you to share something so personal. Thank you!
Thinking of you. Best wishes headed your way.
Oh, my goodness, Ann, what a struggle! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Those damn obstacles come to us in all forms, and usually when we least expect it, jolting us out of ourselves–what we commonly refer to as a good kick in the ass. Strength, guts and sheer will come along in these times, too. Your survival depends on you grabbing all three by the balls, yanking your sword out of it’s sheath, and fighting the good fight each and every day. I don’t know you, nor do I know your struggle, but I know about finality, and how the idea of it defines us. Know that your time is not over. Know that you still have work to do. Know that you are surrounded by people who love you and will be strong for you on days you cannot.
Much love and good wishes are coming your way from me, sister. Please update us on your progress when you can, and I’ll be thinking of you.
Much love,
Julie
My love and prayers are with you and your family and your medical team.
{{{hugs}}}
I’m so sorry, glad that the chemo seems to be working. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Ann.
My love and prayers are with you, your family and your medical team.
Thank you for sharing your challenge with cancer and chemo. Your courage touches me and adds some to the courage I need for mine.
All my very best wishes, Ann, for a speedy recovery,
best,
paul
Prayers and good wishes for you, Ann!
Wishing you all the very best, Ann. V for Victory.
Sending healing thoughts and energy your way. I’m sure everyone understands your need to take care of YOU first, and you’ve done so much for the writing community already, you don’t owe anyone anything. Be well!
Hang in there! Our thoughts are with you
Thank goodness the chemo is working. Sorry you have to go through this. Best of luck!
Take care of yourself, Ann. We’re all rooting for you.
You are one courageous woman. Cancer is an insidious disease that is capable of killing a person’s spirit as effectively as it can kill the person’s body. I am so pleased to read that you aren’t letting it stop you from pursing those things that are important to you.
Social media will be around when you are back on your feet, so keep your priorities focused on kicking cancer’s ass and with your own writing. All of us in cyberspace will be cheering for you and sending you well wishes. And we’ll still be here when you get back.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Thanks for posting this. Good luck and I hope you continue to improve. Obviously take care of work, and business, before worrying about whether you’re showing up on social media!
I followed a link to this from Twitter. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. My prayers are with you and you’re family. And I’m happy to hear you’re getting lots of support and have a great team of doctors. Have you heard of the Burzynski Clinic? I saw a documentary on them and the doctor there has had some good results with cancer, better than chemo. It doesn’t work on everyone, according to the documentary, but might be worth a look. They have a website. Good luck with everything. And keep writing. It’ll help to keep you going.
I wish you a very speedy recovery and hope the side effects from the chemo fade quickly. Get well soon, Ann.
I have something of an idea of what you’re going through: my sister is going through chemo and other bits, and right now she’s in the hospital for a related problem which is causing her pain. I’m not undergoing chemo myself, though the doctor wondered if I should – mine, it turns out, is interstitial lung disease. Not cancer, but it may as well be, IMO. It still involves tissue growth which, after a point (no matter how non-malignant) can still kill you, if left unchecked. I’m glad you’re doing better, and I hope this trend continues.
Oh, honey! My thoughts, prayers and good healing vibes are with you. Hugs.
Sending you positive thoughts your way.
All the love and best wishes on your road to recovery. I can’t thank you enough for the information, support, and contributions you have made to the writing skills community. Rest up, and be well.
More often than not, positive thoughts bring positive results. I’m sending positive thoughts, please keep them to fight off the darkness.
So sorry to hear about this. All the best vibes and strength to you.
Wishing you all the very best. I had a brush with cancer that was not that serious, so I can only go part way in knowing what you’ve been through, but I know you’ve had to show exceptional strength and courage.
Connie Wilkins
I am so very sorry to hear of your troubles. My thoughts are with you. Incidentally, have you heard of this guy:
http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/history/biographies/burzynski.htm
The article is biased, but I’ve done a little digging and this guy seems legit, though he still has a lot of resistance from the broader medical community.
In any case, I wish you a speedy recovery. You are in my thoughts.
I am so sorry to hear all this. My best wishes to you for a complete recovery. Sending good energy, no matter how ‘woo-woo’ that sounds.
Dear Ann,
Good luck. I am in awe of how collected and rational you are through this. (Am going through tests which will hopefully NOT show cancer, and I’m freaking out more than you are.) You are an inspiration.
We will be here when you’re well enough to come back to social media. We’ll be here, when you’re strong enough to write more. Until then, please concentrate on getting better and stronger. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
You have my unbound admiration. In the unlikely event you should need my help in ANY way, please let me know.
Dear Ann, hang in there! Big hug, Rachel Holmen
Thank you for sharing this, Ann. My thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy and complete recovery.
I love you, dear friend, and I am so proud of you. You know I am always here for you. Move completed. Still unpacking but now I have more time. Call whenever you feel up to it. We love you so much!!!
Best wishes, and thanks for all you do x
i don´t really know who you are, but all my energies goes to you, from Argentina
Good wishes, good vibes and prayers sent your way. Best wishes for a complete recovery!
Stay positive Ann. There are a lot of prayers going up for you.
I had a Pulmonary Embolism a few years ago and for a year and a half afterward, I had that same feeling. Doctors appointments multiple times each week, trying out new medicines…. It is frustrating when day to day living becomes such a job. Hoping you get to quit that one soon.
Feeling better after dealing with something like that feels even better than feeling good did before. Just remember, when those doctor visits start to decrease to put aside some of those co-pays you’re getting to keep to do something fun.
Very sorry to hear this news. Will be thinking of you and wishing you a complete recovery.
Prayers and good thoughts surround you, wonderful to hear your medical team and family support are all in place. One suggestion — after chemo, have foot reflexology treatments. They help your body assimilate and deal with the toxicity of the chemo without lessening the therapy.
Sending good thoughts and very best healing wishes
Sending you prayers and best wishes on your journey back to good health Ann. Take care of yourself.
So sorry to learn about this. Wish you a speedy recovery.
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
Hubert H. Humphrey
Hello. I’m a writer and a cancer survivor too. I just wanted to say that I will be praying for your strength and complete healing this summer.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Sending up a prayer for you. So sorry you’ve had to go through this.
Best wishes for a complete and uneventful recovery! I have enjoyed your books since I was a 12 and discovered Yesterday’s Son and the first and second StarBridge novels in the library.
p.s. I’m so glad to hear that the chemo is working! I mentioned this on Twitter but realized I should post it here as well — Many years ago, you critiqued my mss (a novel for young people). You were very encouraging, and your comments/advice was fantastic. I’ve never forgotten that, and continued to follow your posts through the years.
I’ll be rooting for your full recovery, and so will many other writers, I’m sure.
Debbie
Wishing you all the best. *Hug*
Hugs and healing wishes, and a prayer for complete recovery.
Sending good thoughts your way!
Dear Ann,
I’m another survivor, breast cancer in 2001 and uterine cancer in 2007. You WILL get through this and put it in the past. All the prayers and good wishes being sent your way will help–count on it!
There is one other thing I can recommend: join a cancer support group in your area. I know that sounds depressing, but believe me, it’s not! Your friends and family are one form of support, but you also need to get to know vivacious people who have been through what you are going through and come out the other end.
All good hope for a rapid recovery coming your way.
Jean
I will pray for you and as I type this I’m sending you Light and warmth from the English coast, Amanda : )
Sending you Light and warmth as I type this, and I’ll pray for you, Amanda.. : )
As many good thoughts as I have are going to you for use in your fight to beat the Beast. It’s so good to know you’ve been able to work–I hope you get to do more this summer!
Tammy Pierce
I’m so sorry to hear this, I was thinking about you today, I remembered so many of our wonderful talks and all the things we’re shared. I just wanting to tell how much you mean to me and how glad I am that you’re part of my life.. may God walk with you. get well soon. I love you.
William Galloway
Well, of course, you were quiet. You needed all yoru strength battling that. Just take care of yourself.
I was expecting a diabetes complication, not cancer! (Met you in OK not long after we both had started on byettta. Victoza is so much better!) Prayers and my very best wishes to you. ~SharonW
sending healing wishes your way and will be thinking of you and your family
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ann. May you have a speedy recovery.
Hang in there, Ann. I’ve had two family members with bladder cancer. My mother’s cousin was given 6 months; it’s 20 years now, and she’s doing fine. Best wishes for a complete recovery.
My thoughts are with you.
My father-in-law just went through a bone marrow transplant and I can’t think of a person I know who cancer hasn’t touched their lives in some way. I wish you a speedy recovery. God Bless.
My best wishes.
Just heard. You’ll be in my prayers.
Sending you healing energy and lots of support!
I’m so very sorry to hear the news, Ann. But clearly, you’re a fighter and the way you’ve continued to work through this when you can on a project you love… well, it’s an inspiration. You will beat this. Be well, and know that we’re all thinking of you.
Sending good thought your way. You have been very kind to us. We could not have succeeded with our first book without you.
All, and only, the best wished and wanted for you, Ann.
My prayers and best wishes to you, Ann. I hope and pray that all turns out good for you! God Bless!
Many positive, healing thoughts and energy for you, dear Ann.
Ann, I can imagine this year’s cancer experience. I had a go-round with Chemo & Radiation last year and it had a great outcome. You will be in my prayers for the same. Sending love your way.
You are in our prayers, Ann. I had to have my right kidney removed last January because of cancer (it appears to have not been spread), so I know where you’ve been in the early stages. I hope you feel better soon! All the best from the Netherlands!
p.s. I love your Star Wars books!
I am so sorry! I wish you the absolute best, and I hope you know that the community of writers is here to help ( as is probably obvious from the response here on your post.) You are a tremendous and courageous person, and we all hope to celebarate victory with you soon.
*HUG* Sending good thoughts your way, Ann!
I know how difficult this is for you because I’ve been taking Avastin shots for wet type macular degeneration since Sept, 2010. My prayers are with you as we both take “one day at a time.”
Thank you all for the good wishes, positive vibes, and prayers. I am very touched indeed, and it really does help me keep my courage up. It’s times like these that it helps to have friends, and so many warm messages really gladdened my heart.
I just now saw this post, Ann! I’m so glad you are responding well to the chemo though I know how tough it is. You know my thoughts are with you every day. Yr pal, Abby
So sorry to hear you have been going through this, but glad to hear you are getting such great care and support. Cancer is just the worst, but we are getting better and better and treating and surviving it. I will add you to my prayers that the chemo will work and you get stronger every day!
Love your friendship and glad to have known you!
Rose
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Ann, and I hope to see you at Shore Leave.
Wish you quick and complete recovery, Ann. Your spirit is admirable, and it’s only a matter of time, before you are back to your fully-charged self.
Ann. All the best wishes and good vibes coming your way.
Ann, you are in my prayers!!
God bless you. Ann. You are in my prayers…
Ann, wishing you all the best and a return to kicking literary butt as soon as possible. Jesse and I are pulling for you and if there’s anything we can do, we’ll be there.
*sending healthy, goddamnit, vibes*
#fuckcancer
Just read about your news over at Jim Hines’ LiveJournal and came over to get the whole story. I’m so sorry to hear about the cancer, Ann, but so glad the fight is going well. You and Michael will be in my thoughts. Do keep us apprised of your progress.
I am so very sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through this. As a caregiver of someone who went through a toxic chemo regimen, I can only offer futile words of encouragement and support.
Here’s hoping that those stubborn mets resolve, and you’re back on your feet.
Oh man. Just read about this by way of Jim C. Hines. Many good wishes to you and yours, and may you kick cancer’s ass! If you’d like some comedy songs to listen to, e-mail me (filkertom at yahoo dot com) and I’ll zip some silly right out to you.
Oh man. So very sorry, so many good thoughts and virtual hugs to you and yours. Listen, if you’d like some silly songs to perk you up, just e-mail me (filkertom at yahoo dot com) and I’ll zap out some MP3s to you.
Be well.
My best wishes, and lots of strength and healing vibes, for you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and am filled with admiration for all you’ve achieved while this is happening.
Get well soon, Ann! Live long and prosper!
Ann, all the best. Your books are wonderful reads and your instruction in the art of writing is unsurpassed. I will be looking forward to buying your Starbridge series soon. (Jim Hines has posted a link to your works on his blog at LJ … and you are a mention in his new book where his main character expresses the joy he has reading your novels – and using them in his magic.)
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Ann. All my best wishes for a fast and complete recovery.
Ms. Crispin, I was greatly distressed to learn (through Jim Hines’s blog) that you’ve been enduring the nine hells of cancer and cancer therapy. I know you best — though I don’t know you at all — through your marvelous Star Trek novels. Specifically, “Yesterday’s Son,” and, “Time For Yesterday.” I read several dozen of those Pocketbooks ST novels as a teenager, and your two books still stand out today as excellent examples of ST fiction in top form. I do wish Paramount and Viacom had not disavowed the Pocketbooks line, in terms of ST canon. Your books especially were like wonderful episodes unto themselves. Delightful. I’m a published writer myself these days, climbing the pro ladder and doing well. It saddens me deeply to learn that you’re dancing with fire in the form of an aggressive and potentially fatal illness. My best wishes and prayers and thoughts to you.
Ann, all good thoughts. Heal quickly.
Sending strength and grace, Ann. Also suggesting you think about trying a macrobiotic diet. It was designed for cancer patients, and can be handled very simply. I can suggest books if you want to check it out. It saved my life.
Many hugs!
Kathi Kimbriel
Ms Crispin, I have not been online and did not realise you had written this. Very late indeed. GOD BLESS U and hope you are feeling well these days…
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this, and I wish you all the best in your therapy and the healing process. Get well soon!
Ann, I had no idea! I’m adding you immediately to my prayer or good wishes list.
Thank you, Susan. It’s been a long time since we’ve been in touch. We should talk sometime, eh? I’d love to do some catching up.